Offer an invitation, then leave a choice

Begin by making room

An invitation is useful when the animal can decline it. Sit or stand where you are not blocking the route to a retreat. Let the dog or cat notice you before reaching towards it. If it stays away, that is information about this moment, not a challenge to become more persuasive.

Write down the setting when an interaction feels easy: where you were, what was happening nearby and how the animal approached. A journal is most useful when it records observable details instead of labels such as “friendly” or “stubborn.”

Look at the whole interaction

• Notice where the body is directed and whether there is a clear route away.
• For cats, consider ears, tail, posture and movement together rather than interpreting one feature in isolation.
• Pause during an interaction and see what the animal chooses next.
• Allow departure without following the animal into its resting or hiding place.

Make your notes specific

“Cat approached the chair after the room became quiet; moved away when a visitor stood up” gives you two conditions to consider. “Cat hates visitors” goes beyond that observation. If you change something next time, change one manageable part of the setting so the next note has meaning.

For a newly arrived dog, familiarity can develop gradually. Keep greetings unhurried and avoid treating proximity as something the animal owes you. You can offer a familiar activity without insisting that physical contact be part of it.

Share the rule with visitors

Describe what people should do in concrete language: leave the route open, let the animal approach and give space when it leaves. Place this explanation before the visit becomes busy. A guest who understands the arrangement is more helpful than a guest asked to guess what “be gentle” means.

This is a way to organise ordinary companionship, not an assessment of a behaviour problem. If interaction repeatedly feels unsafe or difficult, use secure separation and arrange appropriate individual guidance. The journal records context; it cannot diagnose why an animal behaves a particular way.